


In His Heart

by Higgles123



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 09:14:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20207308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgles123/pseuds/Higgles123
Summary: Short Joe Toye x reader drabble





	In His Heart

The mess hall was quiet. Lunchtime was over ages ago, yet the incessant rain drumming down on the roof was enough for everyone to want to stay put. Afternoon training was cancelled, and the sleepy little village of Aldbourne was hardly a hot bed of activity. Sitting around and doing nothing seemed like the only option. If nothing else, it was a chance to catch up on some letter writing or just shoot the shit with each other. 

“I swear to God, if this rain don’t fucking stop I’m gonna get webbed feet,” Guarnere complained, folding up the letter he had finished and stuffing it angrily into the envelope.

“Tell me about it,” Malarkey looked up from the cards in his hand, a cigarette dangling out of his mouth. “I’ve never known a place to rain so much. And in summer, as well.”

“On the plus side, if it’s raining like this in the rest of Europe the Krauts might drown to death and we can all go home?” George smirked. 

“That would be the dream,” Malarkey grinned. 

“Well I wanna go to Europe,” Tab said. “I’m pretty sure I’ve had nearly every eligible girl within a five mile radius of Aldbourne- and some of the not so eligible ones. I need some fresh meat. And also, I heard that Europeans tits are like twice the size of Brits.”

“Is that all you ever think about?” you frowned, your mouth curled up in distaste. “And do you have to talk about women like they’re there solely for your pleasure? It’s degrading and pretty disgusting?”

“Uh, yeah,” Tab grinned unashamedly and everyone chuckled. Everyone apart from you. “What are you so bothered about anyway? It’s not as if I talk about you like that. Or is that the problem?” he slid up the bench and put his arm around your shoulder. “You want a bit of Tab loving? Is that what’s got you acting like a sour Susan.”

“No fucking way,” you slapped his arms and pushed him away. “I’m surprised I’ve never caught something just from looking at you. You’re a whore.”

“True as that may be, I’m clean as a whistle,” Tab grinned proudly. “As much as this cowboy wants to ride them all bareback, one day I’m probably gonna wanna get married and settle down, so I’ve gotta keep the crown jewels in tip top baby making shape.”

“Please, I really don’t wanna be thinking about your crown jewels,” you pretend to gag.

“And neither do the rest of us,” Joe Toye muttered from the end of the table, where he was drawing in his sketchbook.

It was a little known fact that Joe Toye was actually a rather good artist. Give him a piece of paper and a pencil, and he could create a visual masterpiece. Not that he was keen to show off his art. He would begrudgingly let you peer over his shoulder but that was about as far as it went. He drew for his own pleasure, not for anyone else’s.

“You can’t tell me that you don’t wanna think about them just a little bit,” Talbert’s eyes glistened mischievously. “You’re the only woman in a company of men, and we all know that in the last two years you’ve not gone near a man. Well at least not to our knowledge, anyway. Surely you must desperate for some by now? You deserve a medal.”

“How can I be desperate for something I’ve never even had?” you spoke before thinking.

“Never had…?” Tab frowned, not entirely sure that he had heard you correctly. “Wait. You don’t mean to tell me that you’ve never-?”

“-You’re a virgin?” Perconte’s eyes bugged wide open at the same time as everyone else stopped what they were doing and looked at you like were a creature with twelve heads.

“Would you all quit looking at me like that?” you murmured, squirming uncomfortably under their gazes, wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

For two years you had managed to hide the fact that were a virgin because you dreaded this very sort of reaction. It was embarrassing at your age. But the fact of the matter was that you’d just never even come close to it. You were your parents only child, and they had barely ever let you out of their sight. As such, any male to come near you was swiftly sent packing.

“I can’t believe you’ve never slept with anyone,” Talbert shook his head. “Are you sure?”

“I think she’d fucking remember, don’t you Floyd?” Toye stared at him pointedly.

“Maybe it wasn’t very memorable,” Floyd smirked, shifting up towards you with a goofy grin on his face. “If you let me give you a go, I guarantee you won’t forget it.”

“Tab,” Malarkey warned. They liked a joke as much as the next guy, but it was obvious that you weren’t finding it funny.

“What?” Tab exclaimed innocently. “Y/N, you’re a hell of a pretty girl, and I’m just saying that if by some miracle the krauts don’t all drown in some giant flood, we’re gonna be dropping into occupied Europe soon.”

“Your point being?” you asked.

“My point being that I would be more than happy to offer my services if it meant that you weren’t gonna die a virgin.”

“I’m glad you have so much fucking faith in me, Tab,” you stood up, your bottom lip trembling.

“Oh come on, Y/N. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“You know what Tab? I don’t wanna hear it.”

As you stormed off, the mess hall door banging shut behind you, a hushed silence came over the room. Slamming his sketchbook closed, Toye stood up and if looks could have killed, Talbert would have been dead on the spot.

“You fucking idiot,” he glared at Tab. “When you see her, you’re gonna apologise or feel my fist down the back of your throat. Got that?”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

You weren’t difficult to find. Joe just followed the trail of small muddy footsteps that led across the camp and into the toilet block.

“Y/N?” he called out, pushing the door open tentatively.

He could hear a quiet sobbing come from the cubicle at the end. His heart clenched as he imagined the look on your face. He had only ever seen you cry once before, and that had been back in Toccoa when your mother had written during the first week of training to say that the family dog had died. Not even one of George’s stupid jokes had been enough to put any semblance of a smile on your face for days.

The sadness in your E/C eyes, and the way your bottom lip had wobbled had been enough for Toye to declare himself your protector for the foreseeable future. Not that you knew that. God, he would never tell you that. No, instead he had always just watched you from afar, ready to pounce the moment something or someone upset you.

But up until now you had never really needed his help. Not even when Sobel had called you a whore in front of the entire company. Not even when he had forced you to run Currahee in shorts that were stained with blood because your monthly visitor had made a surprise appearance. You had taken it all on the chin and never once came close to tears. But still, he had always been there waiting just on the off chance.

“Y/N.”

“Go away,” you answered without very much force.

“Y/N, I just wanna see if you’re alright?” he asked, stopping outside the cubicle you were in. “Open the door.”

“No.”

“Just open it or I’ll kick it in,” he clenched his jaw, trying to be patient. And patience, as everyone knew, was not really something he possessed.

“You wouldn’t dare,” you said. “I could be taking a piss in here for all you know.”

“Do you wanna try me?”

He could hear you shuffling about inside. You flushed the chain and then the slowly the cubicle door creaked open. Your eyes were red and there were still unshed tears on the surface. One look at the sympathy on his face made you burst into tears all over again.

“Don’t cry,” he sighed, pulling you into his arms and holding you tight. He kissed the top of your head before pulling back to look down at you. His head tilted to the side, and he wiped at your face with the back of his hand. “Come on, stop those tears. Don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying,” you sniffed.

“You’re not?” he frowned. “Well in that case we better get you to Doc Roe quickly to see if he knows why your eyes are leaking copious amounts of fluid that have an odour of bullshit.”

“Copious? Odour? They’re very fancy words for you, aren’t they?”

“What are you trying to say, Miss Y/L/N?” he raised an eyebrow. You didn’t answer so he prodded you in the side, where he knew you were ticklish. You snorted and slapped his hand away. “I’ll have you know that my vocabulary is extremely vast.”

“Ok, shut up now,” you giggled. “You sound like you’ve swallowed a dictionary.”

“But it made you feel better, right?” he smirked.

“A little,” you admitted with a reluctant smile. But then no sooner had you spoken did your mind go back to the very thing that had upset you in the first place.

“No, no, don’t do that,” he shook his head as your face crumbled once more.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised, unable to stop the tears from falling again.

“Don’t say sorry,” Joe said. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. Talbert, however, needs an ass kicking for doing this to you.”

“He didn’t mean to upset me,” you defended him quietly. “I think he just hit a raw nerve. I mean, it is pretty embarrassing. I’m twenty one and I’ve never even kissed a guy, let alone anything else.”

“You’ve never kissed a guy?” he frowned, unable to conceal his surprise.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you begged him, looking down at the ground.

“Like what?”

“Like you think I’m pathetic,” you explained. “I mean, I know I am but I just don’t need to see it from you.”

“I don’t think you’re pathetic,” he said sincerely. “I’m just surprised that’s all. Anyone would be surprised if a beautiful girl told them that they’d never kissed anyone before.”

“You think I’m beautiful?” you peered up at him through your wet lashes.

Joe thought you were extremely beautiful. Both on the inside and out. It shone from you like the brightest summer sunshine. It was obvious from the look on your face that you didn’t think the same.

“I think you’re very beautiful,” he whispered, taking a step closer towards you. His eyes had you transfixed and you were certain your boots were glued to the floor. You could feel Joe’s body up against your own and there was a look in his ebony eyes that made your knees feel weak. His lowered his head and you felt your eyelids begin to flutter.

“Y/N?” Tab burst through the open door way, and you and Joe jumped back from each other like you had been burnt. “Is everything all right in here?” Tab asked glancing between you both.

“Everything’s fine,” Toye growled.

“I, uh, just came to say sorry,” Talbert scratched his head uncomfortably as he looked at you. “Can we talk?”

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Toye muttered. “See you both later.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The house you were billeted in was empty. The family that lived there were out visiting family for the day. You had just settled yourself on the couch and were listening to the wireless with your eyes closed there came a knock at the door. With a groan you answered it.

“Private Y/L/N?” the small jeep driver before you asked.

“Uh yes,” you nodded.

“This is for you,” he thrust a package at you rather unceremoniously. “I have orders to wait for you to change and then we’ll go. Oh, and bring an overnight bag cos you won’t be coming back here tonight.”

“Go where?” you frowned. “What do you mean, I’m not coming back here tonight?”

“I don’t know,” the driver shrugged. “All I got told was that you needed to change into whatever is in the package and then I’m to drive you to a secret location.”

“But who gave you those orders?” you asked, your face was screwed up in confusion.

“Lieutenant Meehan,” he sighed impatiently. “Now would you please just hurry up? We need to go if we’re gonna get there on time.”

Perplexed, you raced up the staircase and into the small box room that you called home, wondering just exactly where ‘there’ was. You lay the package on the bed, fingering the crisp brown paper as you searched for any hint at what was going on. Unwrapping the parcel, you gasped when your eyes fell upon a dress of the darkest blue satin. Holding it up against yourself, you walked over to the full length mirror on the wall and ran your fingers along the fabric. The dress was the most exquisite garment you had ever seen, and the thrill at the prospect of wearing such a thing far superseded any doubts or questions you had about what was happening. With a little squeak of excitement, you hurriedly started to get ready.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

You tapped your foot nervously on the pavement, patting at your hair once more. The jeep driver had driven you into Swindon and dropped you off outside of a hotel, ordering you to wait right where he left you. He had dumped your rucksack at your feet and then left. That had been almost ten minutes ago, and now you were starting to wonder if you were perhaps the butt of some ugly joke. Smoothing down the skirt of the dress with your sweating your palms, you glanced around anxiously feeling more than a little self- conscious. You were so unused to wearing anything other than your khaki uniform that you felt ridiculously overdressed, and you were certain that everyone who walked past was staring at you thinking you looked like a real chump.

You were so preoccupied with your own self doubt that you didn’t notice a familiar figure approaching until they spoke.

“Well, don’t you scrub up well?”

“Joe,” you gasped, relief coursing through your veins. “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too,” he grinned, his eyes taking in every inch of you. “So are you ready to go then?”

“Go where?” you frowned.

“To dinner,” he answered. “You didn’t think I got you all dressed up like that just to stand here all night looking pretty, did you?”

“It was you who organised all this?” you asked, surprised. “The driver told me it was something to do with Meehan.”

“That was just a cover story,” he smirked. “I didn’t know how else to get you here. The dress looks good, by the way. Do you like it?”

The dress looked better than good, it looked delicious on you. The way it clung to your curves was almost indecent, and Joe found himself wondering how he hadn’t noticed just how luscious your body was before now.

“I love it,” you smiled, twirling around giddily so that the full skirt flared out before coming to a stop in front of him. “But I don’t really understand what this is all about.”

“We’re going out for dinner,” Joe answered casually, as though it was an everyday occurrence. “And then I thought we could maybe go dancing and have a few drinks.”

“Just me and you?” you asked. “Or are the others meeting us there?”

“Absolutely fucking not,” Joe snorted, before his face sobered and he looked down at you intently. “After what you told me the other day, I decided I wanted to do something nice for you. So, if you’ll agree to grace me with your company for the evening fair lady, then I would like to take you out.”

“Like on a date?” you frowned, before realising how foolish that sounded. Why the heck would Joe Toye want to take you out on a date? You absolute fucking idiot. Since the other day when you were certain that Joe had been about to kiss you, strange thoughts and feelings about him had started to creep into your head, and you were obviously deluding yourself. “I don’t know why I said that. I mean I know it’s not a da-“

“Y/N,” Joe stopped you in your tracks, before your mouth could run away with you like it always did. “Yes. I’m taking you out on a date.”

“But why? Oh, this is about the other day with Tab, isn’t it?” you squirmed under his gaze. “You feel sorry for me cos I told you about never kissing anyone? I’m right aren’t I? Listen Joe, that’s really sweet of you, but I’d rather not have your pity.”

“Well good,” Toye said. “Cos you’re not getting it. Now can we go and eat before my stomach thinks my throat’s been cut?”

Your stomach gurgled loudly in answer and Joe chuckled, reaching down to pick up your bag.

“Just one more thing?” you asked, smacking Joe lightly on the arm when he sighed and rolled his eyes. “What do I need the bag for?”

“Well I didn’t think you would want to go home tomorrow dressed in that,” he smirked. “It’s perfect for tonight but a little over the top for a Sunday morning, don’t you think?”

“Wait? You mean we’re staying here tonight?”

“Correct Einstein,” Joe ruffled your hair patronisingly.

“Um, together?” you shifted on your feet nervously.

“No,” Toye shook his head fiercely. “No, no. God no. I booked us separate rooms. That is ok, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” you smiled, relieved yet strangely disappointed too. Although you didn’t really understand why. “I’ve never stayed in a hotel before.”

“No?” Joe raised an eyebrow as you walked towards the great double doors of the building. “Well this is a night of firsts then, isn’t it?”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Your feet ached from dancing so much, and your face felt like it was about to split in two from the amount of laughing you had done. Who knew that Joe Toye could be so funny? And also, the man could really dance. He had spun you around that dance floor like a pro.

“I had a really great night, you know,” you smiled, as you walked along the carpeted hallway in your stockings, your shoes dangling from your hand. 

“Me too,” Joe smiled back. “We should do it again sometime.”

“I’d like that,” you nodded. And you would.

Even though you knew that Joe had just done this out of sympathy (despite his denial), you couldn’t help the butterflies in your tummy when you pretended that this was a real date and that the indecent thoughts running through your brain were also running through his.

_Stop it_, you told yourself. But even as you reminded yourself that you and Joe were nothing more than friends, you could help but imagine you could be something more.

You were actually relieved when you finally reached your hotel room, because you needed to get inside before you could say or do something foolish.

“Well, good night then,” you said.

“Good night, Y/N,” Joe murmured, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, allowing his fingers to linger momentarily.

Joe’s hand cupped your cheek and when he looked down at you, your heart began to thud loudly in your chest. His eyes were melting into yours and you felt like you couldn’t catch your breath. He bent down and his lips brushed against yours sending a shiver of electricity down your spine.

Grabbing you by the waist, he pulled your closer so that your bodies were touching. He kissed you again and his tongue licked at your lips, seeking entry. He groaned when you allowed him inside and you reached your own tongue out tentatively to dance with his.

His hand skated up your body until it wound its way into your hair, tugging on it. The other hand pressed you even harder against him until you could feel something hard pressing against your core. You weren’t so naïve that you didn’t know what it was, and without allow yourself the time to think about what you were doing, you slid a hand in between your bodies. When your fingers grasped him, he tore his mouth away from yours and stepped back in shock.

“What are you doing?” he exclaimed, trying to adjust the crotch area of his trousers in a bid to hide his painful erection.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised hastily, heat rising in your cheeks at the same time as tears rose in your eyes. “I just thought… You know what? I’m a fucking idiot? I’m sorry, ok?”

“Y/N, wait,” he said, grabbing you by the wrist as you turned to unlock your door. “Please. Look at me.”

You turned to face him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. You bit at your lip to try and stop it from wobbling. You couldn’t cry. You wouldn’t. When Joe’s gentle hand lifted your face up to meet his, you did little to fight it. Your eyes flicked up to his, expecting to see disgust or pity there. You were pleasantly surprised to see something else. Warmth. And desire?

“I didn’t stop you because I don’t want to,” he murmured. “Hell, you felt how hard I was for you. I still am. I want nothing more than to take you in that room and make love to you right now. But I didn’t bring you here for that. I just wanted to make you feel special.”

“Then do it,” you whispered, hoping he understood what you meant.

You could see the indecision in his face, and you knew he was fighting an internal battle. His hands were clenched at his side and his eyes devoured your face, taking in every bit of you.

“Do you even know what you’re saying?” he asked. “If we do this, there’s no going back.”

Your only answer was to reach up and kiss him. His hands were on you in an instant and it was as though a dam had broken inside you. You needed him more than you had ever needed anything in your life before.

You don’t remember how you got into the room or how you ended up in only your panties and bra, lying on the great big double bed. All you were aware of was Joe’s mouth on yours, his hands roaming your body like he owned it.

“Take this off,” he whispered, kissing your shoulder as he slid the bra strap down, his breath sending shivers all over your body.

Doing as you were asked, you covered your breasts with your hands, shielding them from his gaze.

“Don’t do that,” Toye shook his head, taking hands away and letting his eyes fall upon your nakedness. “Don’t cover yourself up from me. You’re beautiful. And I’m gonna make sure you know it.”

You swallowed nervously, but nodded. You trusted Joe implicitly.

Swooping down to kiss you hungrily, one of his hands grabbed your breast and his calloused thumb brushed over the nipple making you moan. He kneaded and pulled, groaning every time you made a noise.

When his mouth descended on the peak, you thought you would faint from the sheer pleasure and when his teeth lightly grazed over the sensitive point, you thought you were about to become undone.

“Joe,” you gasped. “Please.”

“Don’t worry, doll, I’m not done yet,” he smirked against your skin as his lips began to trail down your stomach, his tongue licking and swirling.

When his hand reached your panties, he could see through the thin fabric how wet you already were for him, and he shuddered. His hands pulled at them, sliding them down your legs and you didn’t even try to stop him.

Gently, he slid a finger along your folds and you hissed.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking wet,” he growled, pushing a finger slowly inside of you. “You’re so wet for me.”

“Joe,” was all you could murmur.

His finger moved in and out, and you could do nothing but close your eyes and savour every second of it. Was this what you had been missing out on for your entire life? No wonder Tab got it every second he could.

He inserted another finger inside you at the same time as his tongue flicked over your clit, and you grasped at the bedsheets, your hips involuntarily swivelling, begging. You didn’t know what you were begging for but you knew you needed it now.

“Please Joe,” you moaned, your fingers tangling into his hair, tugging, pleading.

“Mm,” Joe murmured against you. Knowing that he was the first person to ever touch you and put his mouth in these places was turning him on ridiculously.

His hands and his mouth became more insistent, rubbing and licking until you felt something building inside you. Your breath was short and laboured and just when you thought you couldn’t take any more, something exploded inside of you and reverberated through your entire body.

As you reached your climax, Toye licked at your juices, savouring the taste of them. He didn’t even give you time to come down from your euphoria, before he climbed on top of you and nudged your legs apart. You felt his cock pushing at your entrance and when he filled you, it was like nothing you had ever known. You could feel yourself stretching to accommodate his side, and when he pushed against your virginal barrier, the sting only heightened the pleasure you felt from having him inside you.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his forehead resting against yours.

“Yeah,” you smiled. “So, is that it then?”

“God no,” he chuckled, kissing your nose. You were the most adorable thing ever. “I just… well, I just wanted to give you a second to get used to this.”

You cupped Joe’s cheek and kissed his nose. You wished more people could see this sweet side of Joe Toye. But at the same time, you were glad it had been reserved solely for you.

Leaning down, Joe captured your lips softly in a kiss that almost brought tears to your eyes. There was just something so tender and caring about it. He opened his eyes, and smoothed your hair back from your face as he began to move slowly inside you. One hand ran along your waist, softly cupping your breast, while the other hand intertwined itself with your own and held it above your head.

His thrusts were slow and measured, making you both groan as he pushed deeper and deeper inside of you. His eyes never left yours. They ate you up. His free hand moved to your hips and he gripped you, squeezing, almost hurting. He wanted to bruise you. To mark you as his own. He was the only person who had ever touched you like this, kissed you like this. The only person who had ever been with you like this. And he didn’t think he could ever let another man look at you let alone go near you. You were his now and forever.

Just that thought alone was enough to tip him over the edge. As he felt himself spill inside you, he manipulated the nub in between your legs, and groaned as he felt your walls contract around him as you orgasmed for the second time.

Still inside you, he wrapped his arms around your body and kissed you deeply. Joe Toye had been with a lot of women in his lifetime but nothing had ever compared to what he had just shared with you. It was like he had experienced his first time all over again.

That night the two of you slept the sleep of young love. The sleep of hope for what tomorrow would bring.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Joe sat on the trunk of a fallen tree, his eyes never leaving the dusty road before him. Every time a figure approached, his shoulders would slump when it wasn’t you. But he hadn’t lost hope. You were alive, he could feel it.

Any second now you would come walking along that path, your eyes twinkling with joy when you saw him there waiting for you. You would tease him for being such a soppy bastard, but then you would throw your arms around him and next him to never change.

Minutes passed. An hour. Two. And still no you.

“Hey pal,” someone tapped him on the shoulder. “You with Easy?”

“Yeah,” Joe nodded, glancing up momentarily at the paratrooper in front of him before his eyes flickered back to the road once more. He couldn’t afford to look away, because the second he did he knew you would appear. When the soldier didn’t speak, Joe glared at him. “Can I help you with something or you just gonna stand there all day?”

“I just wanted to give you these,” the soldier cleared his throat.

The dog tags that fell into Joe’s lap were cold and covered in blood. Wiping at the crimson stains with his thumb, his world came crashing down around when he saw the one name he never wanted to see there.

With a shaking hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, crumpled and frayed around the edges from being opened and closed countless times. As he traced the lines of your face, drawn by his own hand, he told himself that you were in a better place.

You were too good for this earth. Too good for this life. Too good for him.

And now all he had to remember you by was the metal in his hands. That and the hundreds of drawings in his sketchbook back in Aldbourne. But no matter how vivid they were, they weren’t you. 

Never again would he see you smile or hear you speak. Never again would he feel your skin on his. He would never hold your hand as you brought his children into the world, or rub your ageing joints when you were grey and old.

You would exist now only in his memories and in his dreams. 

You were gone, but he could never forget you. You had stolen his heart and taken it with you. You were his forever and he yours. Not just until the end of your days, but until the end of his as well. 


End file.
